


The one who picked up

by isobel__smy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, But also, Comforting Alec, Cute, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Malec, Sad Magnus, Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, before the wedding, heart breaking angst, only slightly, upset Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 23:19:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11861721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isobel__smy/pseuds/isobel__smy
Summary: “Magnus?”“Alec- I,” Magnus took a breath, his hand shaking. He tried to secure his phone’s position, and started again. “Alec. Are you busy right now?” He put the book, that goddamn picture book with all those memories in them, on the floor next to him and pulled his legs up to his chest.- the one where Magnus actually called Alec in 1x12 the night that Ragnor had died





	The one who picked up

“Magnus?”

“Alec- I,” Magnus took a breath, his hand shaking. He tried to secure his phone’s position, and started again. “Alec. Are you busy right now?” He put the book, that goddamn picture book with all those memories in them, on the floor next to him and pulled his legs up to his chest. The air in the apartment was cold, but he couldn’t bring himself to sort it out. Magic was not an option right then.

“Magnus, you know I’m getting married to Lydia.” Alec’s voice was hard, and steady. Magnus felt a pang of something- (love, sadness, hurt?)- run through him at the sound of those words. “You are not going to change that.”

“Yet, you still picked up,” Magnus joked half heartedly, and then hurriedly added, “but that’s not why I called.” He was worried that if Alec thought Magnus was just going to ‘flirt and joke’ with him, he would hang up and go back to whatever wedding preparations were left to sort. And Magnus really didn’t want to be left alone. 

“Why did you call?” Alec’s voice was slightly softer, almost the same voice Magnus had first heard from the Shadowhunter’s lips. Alas, it was still slightly more guarded. “Is something wrong? Has Valentine done something?”

“No.” Magnus shook his head fondly at Alec’s concerned voice. He liked to imagine the concern was for him, not for the millions of mundanes and downworlders that Valentine could kill if he wanted to. “No, Valentine hasn’t done anything yet. It’s not…” This was ridiculous. He was allowed to let people see through his armour; Alec was not going to laugh at him for a moment of weakness. “It’s me.”

Magnus heard a sharp intake of breath from Alec, and then the clatter of something against the floor. He wondered, for a second, if Alec had been doing anything important before Magnus called. “You? Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt? Listen, I can be at yours in about 10 minutes. Just stay put and I’ll be there. Are you safe now?”

The torrent of questions falling from Alec’s mouth sent a rush of warmth running through Magnus, and a small smiled played on his lips. “I’m safe, and I’m not hurt. I just-” and then Magnus couldn’t keep it in. Angel knew he had tried. He had kept them in with those bickering siblings, he had not cried at the pictures. But now, the tears fell. “Ragnor died, Alec,” Magnus hiccuped. “And I- I know it’s stupid, he was an idiot and it’s only been a day… but I miss him.” Magnus cried into the phone, wet hot tears dribbling down his face pathetically as he spilled out his heart into the phone. 

“Magnus…” Alec sounded shocked, which Magnus didn’t blame him for. After all, Magnus had never let his walls down for him before. Even when he was flirting, trying to convince the Shadowhunter to let his own walls down, they stayed firmly up. “It’s okay. Listen to me. It’s going to be okay.” Magnus sniffled pathetically, but didn’t reply. “I’m going to be with you soon. I was training-” Magnus had been right- “but I’ve already left the institute and I’m only about 5 minutes away now.”

“Do you need to hang up?” Magnus asked this quietly, praying the answer would be no.

“Do you want me to?” Alec asked, his breathing decidedly heavier. Magnus could also hear footsteps pounding the pavement, and mundanes’ indignant gasps as Alec flew past them.

“No, I…” In that moment, Magnus decided that he had already lost all of his dignity and therefore did not care about keeping his pride, and said, “I don’t think I can deal with the silence.”

“Then I shall stay on the phone.” Alec’s voice was firm, and final. “How about I tell you about my day? Would that be okay?”

“Yes,” Magnus whispered. “But… can you leave out Lydia? I know it’s stupid but…”

“Sure.” Alec sounded slightly sad, but Magnus didn’t know if that was actually Alec, or Magnus’ own sadness being reflected back at him. “ But I can tell you about Izzy, right? Because she is free to roam and wreck havoc now the Clave have the cup. And to try and celebrate this, she cooked up pancakes, which was obviously a disaster. Wait-” Alec paused for a second, “Did you know about Izzy’s cooking skills? There is no way you could, is there? Well she is a disaster. One she tried to fry pasta. And then once she actually boiled it, but somehow even that turned out sloppy and smelling of shit. Literally. Jace and I never eat what Izzy makes. Max sometimes does, but I think he knows a rune to make it taste nicer. Safe to say, she is a disaster. Don’t ever eat something she makes for you, okay? No one can survive that. Oh, and Jace totally freaked out today! Basically, Izzy was talking about having no fucks to give about my parents, and Jace walks in, and thinks she is talking about giving ducks. And Jace flips. He pulls out his seraph blade and hides behind me.” Alec paused, dragging in a huge breath, and Magnus gives a little laugh. It seemed impossible that perfectionist Isabelle Lightwood would not be able to cook even the most edible of things, and brave soldier Jace Wayland would be afraid of ducks. This did make him narrow his eyes though; the fear of ducks was not new to him.

“And what about you, Alec? You’ve told me the shortcomings of your siblings, but not yourself.” Magnus could feel the tears stop falling as he tried to imagine what Alec Lightwood was afraid of. Would it be clowns? Heights? Ginger haired people? Girls?

“I’m scared of spiders,” Alec admitted, and Magnus laughed fondly at the image that gave him. He could see it clearly: Alec finding a little penny spider in the corner of his bedroom and immediately freaking out. He would probably get Isabelle to get it for him. “Really, truly, scared of spiders. Which is stupid.”

“Alexander,” Magnus smiled, too weary to call him Alec to prove a stupid point, “Jace is afraid of ducks. I hardly find your fear of spiders stupid.”

Alec let out a short laugh, before cutting off suddenly. “I’m at your door, so I’m going to hang up now, okay?” He didn’t wait for Magnus’ reply, and suddenly Magnus was plunged into complete silence. 

The room was suddenly colder, and Magnus was much more aware of the objects, Ragnor’s objects, scattered around him than he had been whilst Alec was talking to him. It gave the room an aura of sadness and forgotten moments left to rot alone. There were noises coming from of the window: cars, drunk people, fireworks, but they only made Magnus’ apartment seem worse, somehow.

“Hey,” Alec walked in through the entrance. He was wearing baggy trousers, and a black jumper. His boots were also on. Surprisingly, however, Alec was not carrying his bow and quiver. It made Magnus feel special, like he mattered; Shadowhunters never went outside the institute without their weapons except for an emergency. He was slightly flushed, a side effect of practically sprinting the entire way, and his gorgeous blue eyes were filled with concern.

\--

As he came into the room, Alec’s eyes had searched the room before spotting Magnus, curled up in a chair in the corner. He looked very small, which Alec was not used to. Magnus had… always been a constant. Yes, he was the most random and extravagant person Alec knew, but he was always confident and wild. Magnus Bane was a party animal, and he was a wanted man. He had lived for hundreds of years and that meant he was better than everyone else around him. But now, Magnus looked mundane, soft, vulnerable. Alec had seen him summon a demon. Today, Magnus looked like he would need help reaching something on the top shelf in a mundane supermarket.

“Hey,” he said, because what else was there to say? He had always been rubbish at this: he hadn’t known what to do when Izzy came to him after her first break up, he hadn’t known what to do when Jace had cried about his father, he hadn’t known what to do when Max threw a tantrum over not wanting to be a shadowhunter a couple of years ago, and he certainly did not know what to do now. 

Magnus smiled at him, and Alec thought he was going to break; it was so devastating. The Warlock’s makeup had slipped, black lines streaking down his face as proof of his tears, and he was wearing no jewelry. His arms were wrapped tightly around his legs.

“Alexander.” Magnus didn’t say anything else for a second, and Alec started to panic. He moved towards the man. “Thanks for coming.” And then Alec paused.

There was no flirting. No dirty jokes, no touching, no mention of cocktails. Magnus was absolutely devastated by his friend’s death and the person he had reached out to was Alec. Not to flirt, not to see him again, not to try and convince him to not marry Lydia. No. Magnus had called Alec when he felt alone. And with that thought, Alec continued walking towards Magnus until he had reached the chair.

That was when it became awkward. Alec had never done this. Even when he had dated random girls when going through his ‘I’m not gay look Mom I held a girl’s hand’ phase, he had managed to keep it completely normal and with okay levels of awkwardness. But now, Alec thought he was going to collapse.

Somehow, Alec wanted to be able to hold Magnus and tell him it was okay. Alec was terrible at words, but he gave really good hugs- apparently. But Magnus was curled up on a small chair and the only way Alec could hug him would be if he sat on Alec’s lap. Which was not happening. Ever.

“Shall we move over to the sofa?” Alec asked quietly, pushing past the awkwardness he felt; this was for Magnus, not him. “Might be more comfortable.” Once again, Magnus made no sign of creating an innuendo. He simply held out his hand for Alec to take, and let himself be led to the sofa.

Alec sat down first, and patted the place next to him for Magnus to sit on- which the man did gladly. Then, slowly, Alec pulled Magnus closer to him so that they sat in a semi-hug type thing: Magnus’ head against Alec’s shoulder, Alec’s arm wrapped around Magnus. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds, before Magnus silents swung his legs to lie over Alec’s.

“You want to talk about it, or do you want me to talk more about my day?” Alec decided that Magnus could probably help Alec not fuck this up. 

“I… I don’t know.” Magnus voice was quiet and vulnerable against Alec’s shoulder. “I want to talk about it. But, at the same time, every time I even think about the idiot it feels as if I’m drowning.” His voice trembled at the end, showing the tell tale sign of tears. 

“How about you tell me about the funny stories?” Alec asked, deciding it was a good in between. “Like how you and Ragnor managed to steal the crown jewels by accident or Ragnor fell in love with a plate? Or whatever trouble you two found yourself in?” Magnus shifted suddenly in his arms, almost in surprise, but didn’t say anything. “It might be nice.”

“He wouldn’t have liked you,” Magnus started. “But, he didn’t like me either. Ragnor was a funny one. Nobody quite knew why we were friends. I think we were the talk of the Warlock world for a couple decades. You know- I’m not quite sure I know how we became friends.” He paused for a second, and Alec heard him take a quiet, shaky, breath. “There was this one time, in Bangladesh, we went to a concert and I ended up having to be the conductor. Ragnor, of course, could have helped me considering he was quite close to Mendelssohn back in the day, but he was perfectly content with watching me attempt to keep ahold of that stick thing and try not to fall of the stage.”

“May I ask how you got into that position?” Alec was curious. He’d always know the Warlock would have pretty amazing stories to tell- he had already heard some of them- but Magnus was describing this one with such an air of sadness and love that Alec never wanted Magnus to stop.

“Ah.” Magnus laughed, though it was short and brief. “Well that is a completely different story. It involves a werewolf, a couple of clueless, and yet beautiful mundanes, and drunk Warlocks who weren’t in control of their magic. How about I tell you about the time Ragnor and I were pirates?” 

As Magnus proceeded to tell him about Ragnor and their mishaps, which all seemed slightly too far fetched to be true, Alec noticed that Magnus was relaxing into him. Before, Magnus had been very stiff, even though his head and legs were resting on Alec. Now, he was completely molded against Alec, and occasionally he would adjust his head and his hair would brush against Alec’s neck.

“I miss him,” Magnus announced suddenly, stopping in the middle of a dramatic sentence about squids and rope.

“I know,” Alec replied, and smiled comfortingly at Magnus.

“No, I really miss him.” Magnus shook his head at Alec. “I’ve known him for hundreds of years. He was the one person who knew everything. He knew about my past, and my present. Hell, I would have told him all about you if he hadn’t ignored my messages.” Magnus’ voice was becoming more wobbly. “And do you know the stupid thing? We didn’t go for coffee last time he asked me if I was free because I was too busy with a client.” And then, Magnus burst into tears.

The tears were red hot, and Alec froze, heart breaking for the man in his arms who was falling apart. He pulled Magnus closer to him, arms tightening around his waist and burying his face in Magnus’ neck. As Magnus continued to cry, Alec started to rock them both.

“I was too busy with a client,” Magnus wailed into Alec’s shoulder, clutching at his back. “How stupid is that? I have hundreds of clients every year, and it certainly doesn’t matter to me if I cancel on one in a decade. But I just thought we could go out again the next year. But then there was Jocelyn and Valentine and the stupid Circle. We couldn’t even communicate with each other without being suspicious about who was actually writing the letters!” 

Alec didn’t say anything- didn’t know how to make this better with words- but he held Magnus closer. He lifted one of his hands from Magnus’ back and started running it through his hair. Magnus seemed to calm down. 

“I’ve known him so long,” Magnus whispered, voice still shaky and weak. “So long. And now I’ll never see him again.”

“I know,” Alec started, before mentally hitting himself in the head. “I mean… I don’t know. But I can guess what you might be feeling. In a way. Obviously I’ll never know completely because you’re immortal and I’m just a mortal.” He wanted to die; he was so stupid. He could never say what he actually wanted to say His face burning, he tried to protest as Magnus pushed his head from his neck and looked at him with cats eyes.

“You are so much more than a mortal, Alexander,” Magnus smiled softly, a few stray tears still running down his cheeks. “And thank you. It isn’t very often that people accept that they don’t know how I feel.”

Alec didn’t know how to reply to that. Frankly, he didn’t know what to do. Everything was becoming a little too much, his heart was a little too unsteady, and Magnus fit a little too perfectly next to him. His mind was going into overdrive, trying to work out what he was meant to do about the feeling running through his body telling him he was making a terrible mistake with Lydia. Alec was going to probably have a panic attack.

And then, he stopped himself. This wasn’t about Alec, and his fucked up feelings and duties. Today, this night, Magnus in his arms… it wasn’t about the confusing relationship between the two of them, or the questions Alec has to ask himself about duty and love. Magnus, curled up into a small ball, clinging onto Alec in desperation, needed Alec. And Alec was not going to ignore that and concentrate on his own emotions.

He relaxed again, tugging the limp Warlock closer to him and went back to running his fingers through his hair. Magnus let out a little sigh, and whispered, “Alec?”

“Hmmm?”

“Could you… Could you tell me a story about something else?”

“Yeah. Anything.” Alec paused, looked down at the man in his arms. Feeling the gaze, Magnus wearily glanced up and made eye contact with him. “I’m here for you, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> This may seem a little odd, writing a fic set pre-Malec- especially since after season 2 there are so many amazing moments to write a fic around. But I've been playing with this idea for a little bit, and thought I'd write the fic anyway. After all, it's kinda cute
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! Comments and kudos are always loved and appreciated <3


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